Chronology of my symptoms

• 2001 onwards: aches and pains in the upper back: I didn't realise they were early warning signs of RSI.
• 2003: hand, wrist, arm, neck and shoulder pain.
• 2003-2005: all the above plus weakness in wrist: sometimes I could not pick up an empty mug.
• 2005: 5 weeks off work needed due to stress and depression: having RSI is stressful in itself.
• 2005-2006: continuing pain on and off, plus instant muscle and nerve reactions to the slightest annoyance: felt a bit like static electricity going through my muscles and nerves.
• Feb 2006 - present: working full time on a PC pain free, strength has returned to normal: I finally found out about mind-body techniques and put them into practice. Now if I occasionally get niggles of irritation in muscles in upper back, I use it as a reminder to stretch, relax and de-stress.

Mind-body techniques cured my RSI

It's possible that stress can cause muscle tension without you being aware of this on a conscious level. In my case of RSI, emotional stress was causing tension of the muscles, causing physical damage, real physical pain and weakness. This is despite the fact that on a conscious level, I thought I coped with stress really well. I am not a worrier, I am very laid back and don't get angry or wound up easily. However, I did have a demanding job in the charity sector: I had very little support from my manager and I worked hard because I really cared about my work.

The physical changes I made early on in my RSI journey did not cure the pain. In order to cure my RSI, I not only had to make sensible physical changes (getting a better PC workstation and using ergonomic equipment, using breaktimer software), I also had to find a way of stopping my body from manifesting emotional tension in my muscles. The techniques I used are outlined below.

I accepted the following truths one by one:

• most 'professionals' didn't understand my RSI (it needs a holistic approach).
• most 'solutions' were not enough on their own (they didn't help enough for long enough, although ergonomic changes, taking regular breaks and stretching are helpful and necessary).
• there is not one ergonomic tool, expert, exercise or massage therapy that offers a magic answer: it's up to me to fight it. I needed to find the combination of de-stressing strategies that would work for me.
• my RSI is caused by both general stress and repetative desk work: the unnatural nature of computing work made my body weak, and emotional stress contributed to physical tension in my muscles. This compounded any physical problems due to unnatural work habits, interrupting my body's healing process. This combination caused my pain.

I cured myself using books that provide mind-body solutions:

 

The Mindbody Prescription by John Sarno

Sarno defines many cases of RSI and chronic back pain as TMS (Tension Myositis Syndrome) which you can treat yourself once you understand it.

On an unconscious level, physical pain is the way our bodies divert us from feeling difficult emotions: it causes tension in the body to avoid us consciously feeling emotional. So when you feel pain, tell your body it's diversion tactic is not working, and allow yourself to feel a strong emotion like anger. By allowing yourself to get emotional when you feel physical pain, it tells your unconscious brain that the pain is not working as a 'diversion' from emotions. It allows the emotion to be released so that it won't be manifested in the body, causing pain.

This is my interpretation of Sarno's technique. Putting it into practice had quick and dramatic effect: I made myself feel strong emotions when I felt physical pain, and my physical pain dissolved.

It was surprisingly quick and easy. I became good at 'switching on' feelings like anger. I would go to somewhere private (in the loo at work!), sit there and get angry at the pain, inwardly shouting at it to go away. Very quickly, the anger became strong, and just as quickly, it would naturally burn itself out. I found that my emotions are fleeting, and that feeling them fully releases me from them: they dissolve naturally. And as they dissolve, the physical pain also dissolved: like magic!

I found that this quick fix for my pain had temporary results: a few hours later, I would get familiar RSI-twinges again. So I wanted to explore this link with emotions and my body further.

In his book, Sarno indicates that sometimes emotions from the past may need to be released in order to be fully free of pain. I used the technique below to go one stage further and find out whether I had any past emotions stored in my body. I had heard about The Journey from another RSI sufferer who had used it in combination with Sarno's book to also become pain free.

I have not had a difficult past, no particular traumas, so had no idea what possible past events could still be causing tension in my body. However, I was willing to give it a go, as it was a cheap easy option I could try at home.

The Journey by Brandon Bays

A self-help book and CD of "guided meditation"/hypnotherapy that helps you heal your body by releasing emotions that have been repressed by your unconscious mind. Like Sarno's technique, just one session had dramatic results. One session, using the CD on my own, had long-lasting results with my physical pain: I was pain free at last (and I felt amazing!).

What I believe about stress and emotions:

• it's possible to be 'unconsciously stressed'.
• stress can have a delayed reaction in the body, sometimes a year or so after stressful events.
• it's possible for emotions from the past to stay in the body for years without you knowing it.
• people who feel they cope well with stress may be more at risk of stress manifesting itself in their body than others who deal with their stress immediately and outwardly.
• stress that is not dealt with can lead to depression.
• depression is not rational: and you can't 'pull yourself together'! it's from a part of the brain not affected by rational thought.
• RSI and depression were tools my body used to get me to stop and find ways to release stored-up emotions and tension.
  
• emotions are physical: the emotional part of the brain deals with your bodily functions.
  
• suppressed anger is common and destructive to your body: it needs to be safely released outwardly.
• once an emotion is felt fully it is released from the body forever. If it is not felt fully, it remains stored in the unconscious mind and in the body, interrupting the body's power to heal.

I didn't think I was stressed when I got RSI. I am pretty laid back. I am not a worrier. I am very lucky in my life: I have a lovely home, husband and family. I haven't had anything really bad happen to me.

I had no idea how stressed I was until I found myself in tears at work. That day I went home and cried on and off for 2 days - and I couldn't explain why I was crying. I was crying for everything and for nothing! I didn't have the energy to carry on as normal. I had to stop and re-assess.

The everyday stresses of life can have an effect on your body even if you cope with them well on a conscious level. And living with chronic pain is stressful in itself: living for 2 years with what I thought was probably permanent RSI pain leading to disability definately escalated my stress levels. I could no longer cope without taking some time out.

I practised yoga and did lots of walking before I got RSI: but it wasn't enough for me. Allowing myself to feel and address unconscious emotions via hypnotherapy is the most powerful way I have found to help me live more postively and avoid getting too stressed out in the future.

Do you always fully release your anger (safely and positively)?
Supressed anger can come from:

• the past: anger you have 'moved on' from but never released fully at the time.
  
• day to day frustrations: from those situations where you cannot fully express hows you feel e.g. road rage, computer rage.
  
• feelings of injustice.

There is hope!

I have learnt to always try to take the time to look after both my body and my emotional health, because:

"Emotional symptoms and physical ones are 2 sides of the same thing: an imbalance of the circulation of energy, the Qi (chi)"

I have heard of the following physical therapies that work for some sufferers. I tried the ones below and they didn't work for me, which does prove that you have to explore ways that work for you. What's common to the therapies below and Sarno/the journey,is that they all help your body cope with emotional stress:

• Alexander Technique
• Acupuncture (which apparently taps into the emotional brain)
• Pilates

Giving up hope escalated my physical symptoms.
There is hope of living and even continuing with your work without pain.

Good luck.

1-page handout (PDF) on my understanding of mindbody techniques (file size=50kb)

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